Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
