As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize