I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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