I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
