so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
tell me about the eggs
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize