i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
