You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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