just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
