I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
