I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
