didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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