haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
