He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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