Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
