One girl and one boy is just not enough.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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