does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
