Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
