her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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