Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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