Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
