omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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