So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
