I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
