absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's shark week go big or go home
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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