did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
