...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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