Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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