He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
