i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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