around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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