dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
