make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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