Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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