We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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