So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
