you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
