oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize