Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize