Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
