We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
