it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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