I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize