Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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