this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
