I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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