i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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