you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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