Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
