I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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