Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
