Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
