at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize