I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
