Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
