ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
