Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
