Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
