he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
pray to the hookup gods
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
