im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
