Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
