gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
